Posts Tagged ‘Sarcasm’

The United States Of America is anything but united

November 1, 2015

AMERICAN'T

The diversity of our country that once was the glue in the fabric of our existence is now at its core in tearing us apart.

No longer is America the model melting pot that it was at the start of the 20th century. It’s now the 21st century and its individual parts are screaming among themselves and shattering this country into pieces.

Whites push their own agenda.

Blacks have their own stance.

Hispanics demand to be recognized.

Asians stand up for themselves.

Christians. Catholics. Jews. Muslims. Episcopalians. Methodists. Mormons. Gays. Lesbians. Feminists. Undocumented Immigrants. Democrats. Republicans. Liberals. Conservatives.

Every individual group that makes up our country is out for themselves. They form their own caucuses. They have their own newspapers. They create their own websites.

They broadcast over their own stations. They form their own opinions and hold fast to their own convictions.

They network. They organize.

Social media provides for their own voices to be heard but no one is listening. The voices are talking over one another like the biblical Tower of Babel.

In our infinite wisdom in the advancement of technology, we’ve gotten dumber.

We’re so connected that we’ve become disconnected.

We’ve alienated ourselves from each other.

We’ve lost the ability to co-exist.

One for all and all for one and every man for himself.

The United States of America is anything but united.

The Divided States of America.

It’s seen on our television sets. It’s written about in newspapers.

It’s plastered in blogs and comment sections all over the internet.

We’re in trouble. We’re in serious trouble. It’s a sad state of affairs.

Not only is our country in trouble. This phenomenon has spread globally.

Our entire planet is in trouble.

E.A.R.T.H. = Educate And Reform The Humans

We need unity. We need harmony. We need compatibility. We need understanding.

We need peace. We need to work together. We need to re-group.

We need reform. We need to recognize our own humanity. We need each other.

We. Not I. There is no I in team. We need to become better team players.

We need to realize that our whole is greater than the sum of our parts.

R. Buckminster Fuller was right. The belief in Spaceship Earth is our only true salvation.

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The Legendary Comedy And Longevity Of Don Rickles

October 11, 2015

Mister_Hockey_PuckDon Rickles is regarded as a living legend of comedy. An icon of a time when the “Rat Pack” (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford) ruled Las Vegas.

The only reason he is considered with such reverence is because he has lived so long. It’s amazing that he is 89-years-old and still performs on stage. He has future gigs scheduled as far ahead as May 2016 if he is lucky enough to be alive to attend.

I mean no disrespect. I adore the man. I just don’t think he would be so exalted had he passed away, say, in the 1980s. He was the Howard Stern of his day. He insulted everybody. He was politically incorrect before the term “politically incorrect” came into existence.

His acting skills were marginal at best. He had his own sit-com in 1972 which lasted only thirteen episodes. He later starred in C.P.O. Sharkey that ran two seasons. He made guest appearances on many classic TV shows such as The Addams Family, Gilligan’s Island, Get Smart, The Andy Griffith Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show and I Dream Of Jeannie but none which would be considered notable.

His best television appearances, in my opinion, occurred on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. One in particular was when Rickles was on while Bob Newhart was filling in for Johnny as guest host. Rickles accidentally broke a cigarette case on the desk and, the next night, Johnny noticed the damaged container. He was told by band leader Doc Severinsen that Rickles did it the night before so Johnny took off to the adjacent studio, where Rickles was taping an episode of C.P.O. Sharkey, and confronted the surprised Rickles about it.

He appeared in movies (Kelly’s Heroes, Beach Blanket Bingo, Casino) but without Academy Award recognition. His own grandchildren know him more for being the voice of Toy Story’s Mr. Potato Head than for anything else in his career.

It’s remarkable that here he is nowadays with his own web site featuring his own mobile app, his own twitter feed and selling DVDs of his Sharkey program as well as listings of upcoming performance locations.

To see an interview of a subdued Don Rickles, without all of the yelling and insulting of his known “shtick” act, catch him on his 2007 book-tour guest appearance on The Charlie Rose show. He speaks openly and honestly about his mother, about Johnny Carson, about Frank Sinatra and his friendship with colleague Bob Newhart.

The 2007 HBO special, “Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project” helps to celebrate his notable life and celebrity by showing what it’s like behind the scenes of his performances.

His 2014 “One Night Only” tribute on Spike TV at the Apollo in Harlem was a delightful broadcast in his honor.

He has outlasted so many comedians who came after him: Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, John Belushi, Sam Kinison, John Candy, Robin Williams.

Rickles married late in life, at age 39, in 1965. He and his wife Barbara had two children. His son, Larry, died in 2011 from pneumonia.

He loves baseball and especially the Los Angeles Dodgers. He used to poke fun mercilessly at former Dodger Don Zimmer who once said that his most sweetest revenge was, as he and Rickles got older, they began to resemble one another.

Bumpersticker Of The Year:

September 16, 2015

fisty

Space; The Final Frontier

September 16, 2015

orbital_earth

Captain’s log: 3:12am – Hurtling through space at a speed of 66,000 miles per hour (107,000 km/hr).

Rotating speed: Nearly 1000 miles per hour (1200 km/hr).

The force of gravity: Currently at 32 feet per second squared (9.8 meters/second squared).

Other than the sun, the nearest celestial star is over 25 thousand billion miles (40 thousand billion km) away.

This isn’t any science fiction journey of a team of astronauts on a mission in the universe. This is one night’s battle with insomnia.

Captain’s log: Out.

Feline Eyes Looking You In The Face

August 11, 2015

cat_eyes

The cat keeps looking at you.

Walk by the cat and it looks at you.

Pass by the cat later and it looks at you.

You can see the cat looking at you. It’s very annoying.

Always looking. The only way to get even is to look back.

Look back at the cat. Get even.

The Internet Was Built To Sell Books

August 11, 2015

pile_books

Did you read about your subject on the internet? Do you want to buy the book? The real book is just a click away.

How about the e-book? Books for sale. Books for sale. Do you want to buy the book?

Information for sale. Twenty-four seven. That seems to be why the internet was made.

As a virtual snake oil hawker.

Just resist.

As The World Turns; Faster and Faster

July 19, 2009

134883

Owned this long-playing vinyl record album years back.  Mostly orchestra instrumental.  Didn’t even realize it was from a Broadway show starring Anthony Newley until I researched it.

With the rapid-fire world of immediate access, overnight deliveries, internet, email, instant messaging, cellular phones, etc etc…  it seems to take on a whole new dimension.

There’s Nothing Like Good Satire!

July 7, 2009

SWPLBanner

And this is great satire. The internet blog Stuff White People Like is the creative outlet of Christian Lander, a Toronto-born comedy writer, who pokes fun by being self-depreciating, raising questions along racial lines without being hurtful, and allows people to truly look at themselves under the guise of satirical humor.

The best part are the posted comments by three different audiences: those who really get it, those many who really don’t, and those few spammers (Portnoy, are you reading?) who are so blatantly and offensively racist that it’s a crying shame that cruel and unusual punishment is banned under the eighth amendment of the Constitution of the United States.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Sampling of responses to the topic of dog yoga classes:

(A) Hilarious, just freakin’ pricelessly hilarious. The shit we white people do. ~Tina

(B) More proof that there’s something very very very wrong with white people. ~Theyearofasking

(C) So, like, now I can’t go to yoga class without a rabies shot and poopie bags? Great. But I do love my designer flea collar. It matches the dog’s.  ~P.L. Frederick

(D) I love how all the dogs in those pictures are like “WTF is this human doing? When am I going to get fed!?” ~Beth

(E) Somehow I think my 115 & 125 pound domestic wolves would look at me like I was nuts. They’re smart dogs. ~ck

(F) SWPL -Panhandle version- Keeping wolves as pets. While wearing Ed Hardy yoga apparel. ~only partially wite

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Too bad SWPL can’t add itself to the list of stuff that white people like. That would be too much like Jerry Seinfeld (Season 4) deciding to sell a television show about nothing to NBC.

My Dream Cartoon Panel in The Jewish Exponent

July 6, 2009

Mishegoss

I always wanted to draw a comic strip for The Jewish Exponent and name it “Mishegoss.”

According to The New York Times, Mishegoss comes from the word meshuga, which means crazy. Meshuga: crazy. Mishegoss: craziness or idiosyncrasy.

Perfect cartoon name for that religious publication, don’t you think?

Bumperstickers

January 2, 2009
(My kinds of signs...lol)

(My kinds of signs...lol)